Why Do I Act the Way I Do?

So this blog is to help understand our own behaviour. More often than not we do act in a rational manner which has pleasing outcomes. However , unfortunately , there can also be many times when we act in a way that appears to be totally inappropriate to what is actually taking place. What is actually taking place is our present , current , in THIS moment reality. What is taking place in our mind is a recalled emotion to an event , or circumstances, that took place sometime in our past.

This is more often referred to as a “trigger”, an emotional recall happening only in our mind but being overlaid on the event taking place in real time. This results in us behaving in a manner which, to an outsider, is totally unrelated to what is really taking place. This can be extremely frustrating to all parties concerned, as in effect, there are two different realties being experienced at the same time. Once a past emotion is recalled in the mind, then the current event is viewed through, what might be described as a filter, or a prism. In the mind the reality is distorted, to cause a reaction which mirrors what took place at a past moment or event. As this is a memory it may not even be accurate to the past event, but it will be relevant to the emotions that were experienced at that past event time.

The other factor to consider is the maturity at the time this past event took place. When we are younger we are not necessarily emotionally developed enough to know how to process what we are experiencing. Consequently we may have got frustrated in not being able to express ourselves, we may have withdrawn or we may have got angry. We may have got resentful, we may have felt inadequate or we may have felt threatened. Of course this an endless list. What is important to understand NOW is that these are the emotions that we held on to; sometimes aware of them, but more often they are buried or suppressed.

When a similar situation arises that reflects these past events then it triggers these unmet emotions. And we react according to the arising emotions as opposed to the current event, that may be presented in a way that has nothing to do with how the similar past event was experienced or acted on. What to do!!

Sometimes we have the good fortunate to meet up with more wiser and compassionate souls who can recognise what is taking place. With this understanding they are able to gently turn us around to recognise what is taking place. We are likely to initially resist this approach but a persistent approach can often prevail. Sometimes the “others” in our lives have their own hurts and pains, so the event escalates into confrontation, and there can be a breakdown in communication and understanding. Then it may be best to seek out professional help to heal the “younger” us that still resides emotionally within us. This will be a safer environment for that pain to be expressed, acknowledged, listened to and redirected, to the time and place when it actually took place.

This is “Healing” at its best. It assists us to recognise what is past and what is present. More importantly we develop the skills to be able to release the pain we have unconsciously buried as a coping mechanism. And ultimately we become masters of our own well being that can only lead to a happier, healthier and more loving life.

Mental Health

I think everyone is aware that the most overwhelming global health issue outside Covid19 is mental health, and has been for a long time now. Its almost become a label which unfortunately tends to accommodate the condition instead of attempting to identify the causes. To simply state that “I have a mental illness” sidesteps the reason why one has problems functioning in a sane and balanced state.

Conventional approaches to treat mental health issues may extend to psychological counselling but more often are treated with anti depressants. These drugs can be effective for some in the short term but do not treat the underlying causes that result in the confusion and irrationality of the mind. This usually results in long term background depression. ( and on going use of the drugs prescribed)

Alternative approaches to treating the above can be implemented in two ways. Firstly to provide a return to stability which are usually brought about with a variety of remedies and secondly by identifying the reason the decline in mental functioning arose in the first place and assisting the person suffering to have support to make the changes that are required to rewire the mental constructs in the mind.

So this is a bit different from conventional psychology in that the therapist is actively involved in guiding the recipient of care to strategies that support the changes required. In most cases the recipient needs to be ready to make a considerable commitment to receiving this support as inevitably resistance will arise. I have found that by combining this with “energy work” it lifts the recipients state of mind to a temporary different balance, shifting them to a balanced state of well being which supports the changes being recommended – and ideally put into action. By committing to on going professional support this can then be reviewed by the therapist on a weekly basis.

This “energy work” is a skilled occupation where a therapist is able to directly modulate the mental state of a recipient, balancing out any constraints and restrictions. Reiki is one of the approaches which can be utilised. Initially the reason why one has formed these constraints may not be recognised by the recipient – the mental health issues are the symptom that is noticeably apparent. By shifting someone to a balanced state it assists that person to recalibrate to a state which over a long period has become difficult to recognise.

More in-depth understanding of the above is available from a competent therapist. The choice of the right therapist is vitally important to the recipient. They will need to be a person you have confidence in, a person you can trust and a person you feel you can relate to. Initially talk to someone who can give you a personal recommendation as your friends and family know you well. Otherwise use your intuition and make your first consultation an exploration, you don’t have to make a commitment until you’ve had a few days to assess how the appointment went and if you can see what was offered gives you confidence or ideally has made some difference. Most importantly discuss what was covered in your first consultation with those who you share your life with on a daily basis as the changes you will end up putting into place in your life will affect everyone you interact with.