Emotions, Feelings & Thoughts

When we look into the above words they probably represent some of the greatest confusions we face on an ongoing basis in our lives. As an infant and very young child we operate nearly exclusively at a feeling level, our minds are still developing to have the capacity to comprehend or articulate what these feelings are actually about. In other words we simply feel a sensory reaction to what is either touching us, being witnessed or creating discomfort in our bodies. As we get a bit older, as a young child, we start to develop our emotional body, we are able to connect better with how these feelings are affecting us and thus we start to express them – emotionally. We start to do this by expressing these feelings, we articulate them through our body language, a complex factors of internal chemical reactions in our body or we demonstrate them verbally.

This evolvement is closely followed by developing ideas and concepts – these are our thoughts. Our thoughts can be very subjective; at a younger age they are often based upon what we see our peers expressing, but initially more so from our parents or caregivers. As our exposure to the world opens up then our thoughts are even more influenced by social media, news, fashion, cultural behaviour and the movies or books we read. We start to align or believe these thoughts that are forming, and thus they are further strengthened and can easily become very rigid personalities. Problems can arise when we only view life through the prism of our beliefs – we all have them – but considered solely in isolation they can cause us to develop a very narrow view point and prevent us from recognising our more primitive functions. These are the core innate feelings we have, that alert us to a deeper connection to our true sense of balance and well being.

When we can connect to our core feelings, and express them emotionally, then we are able to release any tension we may be holding. We also allow ourselves to be recognised by others , and hopefully receive the support we are attempting to receive.

It is quite evident that the nurture and support we get in our developing childhood is critical to develop and mature the three elements of feelings, emotions and thoughts. At the extreme end of the scale of suppressed or corrupted development, we start to create very strong thoughts to validate the unexpressed feelings that we have not been able to assimilate as we matured into an adult. Then we either express uncontrolled emotions or we internalise them completely. If left unattended we build a fortress to protect ourselves from the hurt and pain that never got acknowledged earlier in life, or we justify these hurts by viewing life though this prism and see life outside ourselves as dangerous or unable to understand us.

None of this has to define us. It is part of being a developing human. With love and care we recognise a better pathway. Sometimes good or bad fortune overcomes us and shows us where we have erred and we open up to a better balance, attitude or way of behaving. And if none of the above happens we can start to apply ourselves to a more connected and conscious way of living. This can be through self help literature or online seminars, the company of wise souls who inadvertently show us another way of being, or we access professional help to gently expose what we have not been able to recognise.

In this way a whole new world opens up to us – sometimes beyond what we even knew could exist!

Negative and Positive Thoughts

In this age of rampant social media, covid19, mass main stream media alerts, climate change crisis and so called conspiracy theories, there is so many strong thought influences that are affecting and infecting our minds. So a good understanding of the power of our mind is useful to be able to redirect our thought patterns.

It helps to visualise our thoughts as vibrational frequencies. A positive uplifting thought will resonate at one frequency and a negative fearful thought will resonate at another. In other words we are able to affect our health, and our relationship with others, by the thoughts that we hold. So much of what we hear about, or read these days is pointing towards a negative or fearful outcome. This in turn sets up a wavelength which is destructive in nature and affects the very chemistry in our body. If we continue to hold this thought then we subconsciously transmit this, not only to ourselves but also to others.

Admittedly this can be challenging to overcome when this is such a constant negative stream coming our way. It is one thing to stay informed of what is happening in the world around us but it is another thing altogether as to what we choose to align ourselves with. One helpful approach is to pause for a minute and ask yourself – what would be the best possible outcome in the situation I am looking at? To do this you will need to overcome the temptation to ask yourself how this change could possibly take place. What you are doing here is changing the negative thought frequency to that which carries a harmonious resonance. It will take practice to even realise that we are carrying negative thoughts but eventually you will not allow yourself to think , or indeed carry negative impacting thoughts. Likewise you will eventually not adopt the negative thoughts of others. You will hear what others say, recognise the place that they are choosing to be, and then consciously change the thought – or energy – you choose to hold around the event happening or being discussed.

When you have mastered this approach you will see how creative the mind is. And as a consequence you will start to use this creative ability to really manifest your own / chosen reality. Its what we often call “Miracles”, however it is in the reach of all us as we consciously reconnect with the interconnectedness of all that is.

Why Do I Act the Way I Do?

So this blog is to help understand our own behaviour. More often than not we do act in a rational manner which has pleasing outcomes. However , unfortunately , there can also be many times when we act in a way that appears to be totally inappropriate to what is actually taking place. What is actually taking place is our present , current , in THIS moment reality. What is taking place in our mind is a recalled emotion to an event , or circumstances, that took place sometime in our past.

This is more often referred to as a “trigger”, an emotional recall happening only in our mind but being overlaid on the event taking place in real time. This results in us behaving in a manner which, to an outsider, is totally unrelated to what is really taking place. This can be extremely frustrating to all parties concerned, as in effect, there are two different realties being experienced at the same time. Once a past emotion is recalled in the mind, then the current event is viewed through, what might be described as a filter, or a prism. In the mind the reality is distorted, to cause a reaction which mirrors what took place at a past moment or event. As this is a memory it may not even be accurate to the past event, but it will be relevant to the emotions that were experienced at that past event time.

The other factor to consider is the maturity at the time this past event took place. When we are younger we are not necessarily emotionally developed enough to know how to process what we are experiencing. Consequently we may have got frustrated in not being able to express ourselves, we may have withdrawn or we may have got angry. We may have got resentful, we may have felt inadequate or we may have felt threatened. Of course this an endless list. What is important to understand NOW is that these are the emotions that we held on to; sometimes aware of them, but more often they are buried or suppressed.

When a similar situation arises that reflects these past events then it triggers these unmet emotions. And we react according to the arising emotions as opposed to the current event, that may be presented in a way that has nothing to do with how the similar past event was experienced or acted on. What to do!!

Sometimes we have the good fortunate to meet up with more wiser and compassionate souls who can recognise what is taking place. With this understanding they are able to gently turn us around to recognise what is taking place. We are likely to initially resist this approach but a persistent approach can often prevail. Sometimes the “others” in our lives have their own hurts and pains, so the event escalates into confrontation, and there can be a breakdown in communication and understanding. Then it may be best to seek out professional help to heal the “younger” us that still resides emotionally within us. This will be a safer environment for that pain to be expressed, acknowledged, listened to and redirected, to the time and place when it actually took place.

This is “Healing” at its best. It assists us to recognise what is past and what is present. More importantly we develop the skills to be able to release the pain we have unconsciously buried as a coping mechanism. And ultimately we become masters of our own well being that can only lead to a happier, healthier and more loving life.

Mental Health

I think everyone is aware that the most overwhelming global health issue outside Covid19 is mental health, and has been for a long time now. Its almost become a label which unfortunately tends to accommodate the condition instead of attempting to identify the causes. To simply state that “I have a mental illness” sidesteps the reason why one has problems functioning in a sane and balanced state.

Conventional approaches to treat mental health issues may extend to psychological counselling but more often are treated with anti depressants. These drugs can be effective for some in the short term but do not treat the underlying causes that result in the confusion and irrationality of the mind. This usually results in long term background depression. ( and on going use of the drugs prescribed)

Alternative approaches to treating the above can be implemented in two ways. Firstly to provide a return to stability which are usually brought about with a variety of remedies and secondly by identifying the reason the decline in mental functioning arose in the first place and assisting the person suffering to have support to make the changes that are required to rewire the mental constructs in the mind.

So this is a bit different from conventional psychology in that the therapist is actively involved in guiding the recipient of care to strategies that support the changes required. In most cases the recipient needs to be ready to make a considerable commitment to receiving this support as inevitably resistance will arise. I have found that by combining this with “energy work” it lifts the recipients state of mind to a temporary different balance, shifting them to a balanced state of well being which supports the changes being recommended – and ideally put into action. By committing to on going professional support this can then be reviewed by the therapist on a weekly basis.

This “energy work” is a skilled occupation where a therapist is able to directly modulate the mental state of a recipient, balancing out any constraints and restrictions. Reiki is one of the approaches which can be utilised. Initially the reason why one has formed these constraints may not be recognised by the recipient – the mental health issues are the symptom that is noticeably apparent. By shifting someone to a balanced state it assists that person to recalibrate to a state which over a long period has become difficult to recognise.

More in-depth understanding of the above is available from a competent therapist. The choice of the right therapist is vitally important to the recipient. They will need to be a person you have confidence in, a person you can trust and a person you feel you can relate to. Initially talk to someone who can give you a personal recommendation as your friends and family know you well. Otherwise use your intuition and make your first consultation an exploration, you don’t have to make a commitment until you’ve had a few days to assess how the appointment went and if you can see what was offered gives you confidence or ideally has made some difference. Most importantly discuss what was covered in your first consultation with those who you share your life with on a daily basis as the changes you will end up putting into place in your life will affect everyone you interact with.